So, for the second time in two months, our daycare provider quit us. The first one I think we were a little more prepared for. This one, not so much. I got a text message forty minutes before he got out of school today.
I knew things weren't going so well. I was even prepared earlier this week to start looking for a new provider. Then she sent a message: Sammy is having a great day!! I could hardly believe it; maybe they had turned a corner. And then there was a second good day, then a third. Could this possibly mean they had found their rhythm together? I was so desperate to say yes, but experience has taught me not to get my hopes up.
The realist inside knew what was coming. Day four: We had the worst day yet, he wouldn't take a nap, wouldn't listen, hit a boy on his face, and was throwing toys. I knew the honeymoon wouldn't last but after three good days, I wasn't expecting this. I knew she was struggling with him, he can be a handful on his best of days. When he doesn't feel quite right, which for my asthmatic, ear trouble having sensory kid happens often, he is downright impossible. It was probably a matter of time before he did something that really made her wonder if he was worth it.
And that is the hardest part. How can a caregiver who has five other children demanding her attention take the time necessary to connect with my special needs child? One on one he's better; he's also an ornery little 4-year-old, but that is part of his charm. It can be hard for other's to connect with him. It takes effort. He's not an easy kid. And if he doesn't feel a strong connection to you he won't put forth any effort either. Making him that much harder to love.
So now the question is where do we go from here. Any other caregiver is going to face the same obstacles. Do we keep jumping him from one house to the next? Where every two months or so he has to move on? That sounds like a situation that will give him a complex that causes him to be in weekly therapy for the rest of his life. Do I ask my employer to work with me so that I may take care of him when he's out of school? If I got a little family support two or three days a week that might work. But what if my employer won't support it?
I know in time we will come up with a solution that will be in Sammy's best interest. Right now I feel as though I have more questions than answers, and it is a terrible uneasy place to be.
