Graduation

My second child is graduating. In twenty-four hours time, I will be the parent of a high school graduate. Yikes.

Funny thing about this, I have only been a parent for six years. I often joke upon meeting people that I'm an adoptive parent and my first child is six and my second child is eighteen. It usually takes a minute for them to get it, but it always elicits a chuckle.

Bringing a teenager into our home was a rather difficult decision to come to. The circumstances were complicated, to say the least, as I imagine it is for any teenage child who finds themselves in need of a new home. In the moment, you feel like everything will be ok. But going from the mommy of a three-year-old to parenting a fifteen-year-old girl was quite an eye opening experience. Most parents are allowed to grow and adapt their parenting style right along with their child. We were thrown into the deep end.

In her defense, Jess was a VERY, VERY easy teenager. She is graduating as valedictorian of her class. I wish I could say I had something to do with that, but the reality is, it was all her. She was always driven to keep straight A's. Maybe a sibling rivalry thing, Chelle was valedictorian so nothing less would suffice. She is loyal to her friends, but if they wrong her they are out of her life. When we talk about various teenage girl issues at home, Darrin uses a pop culture phrase that sums it up pretty well. Jess and I always laugh because, usually, it is a spot-on assessment of the situation. And she understands in one statement that she is too caught up in someone else's drama.

But in this period of great import in my daughter's life, I can't help but question if what I'm doing is enough. Would things be different for her if her early life were less crazy? The answer is yes, they would be different. But every bad situation, all the neglect, the abuse, every DCFS intervention, it all made her who she is. It created the strength of bond between her and her siblings. It gave her a caring heart and made her want to help others. It made her a fierce fighter, which has allowed her to create the life she deserves. There are times I wish with every fiber of my being I could have shielded her from the bad things that have happened to her. But then she wouldn't be who she is today.

So we love her. We love her the way we feel our child should be loved. We can't change the past, but we hope we help her see the value of family. And help her know there are people she can depend on in her life, no matter what happens, especially as she takes her next steps into adulthood.